


Turning Back Time

by Zimi



Category: They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera
Genre: Adam Silvera why doesn't Gabriella have a surname I can find?, I FOUND SURNAMES, I got like a solid six names in before I gave up, I read the book twice in less than 24hrs whoops, M/M, Peck gets the deck, Who needs surnames?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 08:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zimi/pseuds/Zimi
Summary: Come September 6th, Mateo Torrez is surprised to find no call from Death-Cast telling him he's going to die that day. With Rufus Emeterio at his side, the pair is tasked with discovering what colossal fuck up caused the adventure of a lifetime.(Also known as 'Zimi read the book twice in 24 hours, and refused to let herself stay upset.')(Major spoilers ahead.)





	Turning Back Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm Zimi and I'm joining a nonexistent fandom (is it a fandom if it's just you?) purely to drop you what may end up being five thousand words of crap. Or it could be a five-hundred-thousand word monster like everything else. Who knows, but hopefully whoever stumbles upon this decides it's worth reading.  
> Did I mention I'm a terrible author?

September 6th, 2017  
**M A T E O   T O R R E Z**  
12:35 a.m.

 

Death-Cast called Mateo yesterday because he was dying.

But looking around his room, still in shambles courtesy of a panic attack and something no other had seen before, he’s well aware that is not the case. Mateo is not, in fact, dead. He’s very much alive, as is Rufus of whom stirs at his side when he leans over him in a bid to catch his glasses between shaky fingers. Find some terrifying solace in the clarity they provide, despite the heartache that may come.

Perhaps he misread the date.

Perhaps he’s starting the most exhilarating day of his life all over again, and everything was a dream, but that wouldn’t explain why Rufus was there.

But these types of things only ever happened in the stories he read to Penny, where the Death-Cast was either wilfully ignored or something that could be wrong. Yet he’d never heard of that being the case, never heard of somebody surviving unless it were an internal error, and he knew for a fact if that were the case Andrea would most certainly have had her call. Or meeting.

It was an impossible thing. I wasn’t supposed to survive beyond midnight, 11:59? Perhaps. But even then, perhaps Rufus’ island had been the thing that had saved us.

How was I supposed to explain this to him?

We were on uncertain terms as it was, for you could hardly call such a thing rational and thought out and— I could feel myself growing more and more terrified by the moment. Shaking my hair out of my face, all I could do was watch silently as the clock ticked forth a further minute.

It most certainly was the sixth of September. And the harder I thought about it, the more I wondered if being alive was such a bad thing.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**R U F U S   E M E T E R I O**  
12:37 a.m.

 

I was still alive.

That was all I could think about, and it wasn’t exactly chill, because between pissing Peck off to hell and back and all manner of other shit I was probably done for. Not that I cared, I mean, there were worse ways to start a day you weren’t supposed to be alive to see, but whatever. I wasn’t on fire or crushed by a car, and I mean I hadn’t been shot back at Clint’s Graveyard so I was having a pretty good run.

When my vision returns, the first thing I note is that yo, this isn’t my room. And Mateo is still here, so we’re actually getting somewhere because last time I passed out with Aimee she was gone by morning with my shirt because Tagoe managed to spill something on it. Still wouldn’t let him live it down, even this far on. The thing was I wasn’t even precious about it, just a sentimental fool and all, yet sitting up the most I could muster was a shrug. There were worse places to wake up, and I mean a cell would’ve been far worse, so I got what I wanted done. With any luck, the Pluto’s were safe too, and I could return to something normal.

I’m more mad that I gave up my bike, in honesty. It had nothing wrong with it and karma decided to bite my ass. Guess that’s what I got for kicking Peck’s ass, but whatever, I did my time and beat my end day.

Looking to Mateo, I could only frown at his shaking. Kinda like his nightmare on the train, he was twitching slightly, I probably wouldn’t have noticed it had I not been looking right at the clock he was blocking but he seemed to get the picture and budge slightly.

Twelve-thirty-seven, or close enough. The clock ticks a minute further forward, and by now I’m freaking the fuck out myself because we shouldn’t be alive. This is probably more awkward than waking up to find that your Necro hookup wasn’t as final as you thought, not that I had anything to base it off, but it was kinda a comforting thought if I’m honest. Still, I kick my legs out from beneath the covers and fall to his side pretty fast, because whoa, this was not something I expected in the least. I don’t think anyone did, but whatever.

Spotting a hand fumble just slightly beneath the covers, I catch it. Hell knows what our bounds are at the moment, but he seems to chill at the touch, opening his mouth as if to speak even if we’re both silent as shit and it’s bothering me quite a lot. I hate silence quite a lot of the time, but he seems to find it kinda nice, so I suck it up and stare at my hands. The dirt underneath my nails suddenly becomes far more interesting, and I mean it’s not like I have much else to be doing, so I distract myself.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**M A T E O**  
12:40 a.m.

 

I have been awake perhaps five minutes, and in that time my world has come falling down.

My dad still isn’t awake. I had no miracle, aside from surviving my death day, but I can’t tell if that even counts as a miracle in honesty. The faint sound of a radio still manages to make its way through the window, I assume it comes from next door where Sean is probably up tinkering as usual. It’s odd, and all of a sudden I’m conscious of the notes that I passed through the door.

How do I tell them I’m still alive? What do I tell my dad if he wakes up?

What do I say to Rufus, who sits silent just to the side of me? A hand in mine, comforting just like when he hugged me just to try and put everything out there.

“We aren’t supposed to be here,” I mutter eventually, absentmindedly and more to myself than anything else, but there’s a shift to my side regardless. And then, to Rufus: “Do you think they made a mistake?”

“I mean, yeah. But two mistakes? That’s a bit stupid, right?”

“You’re right.”

“Sucks there’s no book on what to do when you don’t die, I guess,” Rufus says to me, and I soften slightly as he smiles at me. It’s nice to have his eyes back on me. “Plenty for when you’re dying, not enough for anything else.”

“They’d be obsolete before you knew it. Like newspapers, and clocks, and letters—”

“Fun while it lasts though.” And then, with a snicker. “Where’d you think Lidia is?”

“Probably at home with Penny. What about the Pluto’s?”

“Hell knows. Probably kicked Peck’s ass for me, probably got arrested again.”

“What do you think they’ll say about this? If it lasts, of course.”

“Dunno really. Feel like Malcom’ll be trying to stop Tagoe from kicking my ass, but whatever.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Lidia does the same. Perhaps they just got the date wrong, and we’re waiting for our friends to end us instead.”

There’s a gentle laugh at that as he softens. Finally meets his eyes, and waits for a second as he curls into himself just slightly.

“So, are we gonna keep giving this a chance until Death-Cast call again and tell us we’re done for?” Rufus asks carefully, frowning at him. “I don’t know your life, maybe you’re the type of guy to want a few dates before all of this.”

“I hardly knew what I wanted in life until yesterday, I don’t mind.”

“Really? Here I was thinking you had some huge goal which ended in some nice ass dog and three screaming kids.”

And, letting out a sharp laugh that scares even me, I find myself grinning from ear to ear as I refute his claim.

“Seeing Lidia and Penny? I think I’ll pass. No matter how sweet she is, I don’t think I’ll ever be up to raising some big shot president.”

 

September 6th, 2017  
**R U F U S**  
12:53 a.m.

 

You know what I said about Mateo being too innocent like, a day ago? Turns out it only gets more apparent the longer you spend hanging with him, and I mean I’m confused as fuck so I’ve been doing a lot of that this morning. We tried to figure out what was going up but gave up pretty fast, and the CountDowners site didn’t do much to help so off that went too.

Really, I just want to know if I’m gonna drop dead today, or whether I can go and chill with my buddies. With Mateo. He’s like, virtually an honorary member of the group at this stage and I can’t imagine the others retracting that. Like ‘yo, buddy, you survived. Fuck off’ didn’t seem like anything they’d say. Apart from Aimee, who might say that, but I really can’t tell.

If she hasn’t broken up with Peck though, I’m pretty sure we’ll be down to a solid five members. Perhaps four if something happens to me too, it’s a huge mess and I can’t be bothered to deal with that crap in honesty. So I don’t.

“So, what’s our plan, Mega Master Mateo Man?” I ask, half joking though I note a smile nonetheless. It’s nice, but I'm kinda confused because I don’t know if I should like it this much when I've known the guy a day. Even if it feels like a lifetime. Nonetheless, he speaks again. “Rob a bank, go chill in your grave and give them a scare?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think this far ahead.” And then he hesitates, before continuing with a roll of the eyes. “What are you meant to do when you’re supposed to be dead?”

“Hell knows. Perhaps the afterlife screwed itself over, and we’re just as dead as we were yesterday.”

“That’d mean your afterlife theory was true. And that the Death-Cast was wrong.”

“I mean, if we’re all dead, it’d make sense that nobody knew that people survived. Maybe we just have a bunch more shit we’ll regret not doing, dude.”

I didn’t really know what I was saying. It was kinda comforting to think we were actually dead, and that I wouldn’t have a pissed-off Lidia and a bunch of confused Pluto’s to boot, but whatever. I can deal with that. I’m chill, like, painfully so. Nothing can ruin my day, a day I shouldn’t have, especially seeing as I’ve not actually entered it alone.

Looks like both of us got to keep our promises for the time being. I didn’t have to see Mateo die, and he didn’t have to see me get smacked by something by being an idiot on my bike. I’d say it was a win-win, but I was still pissed off about it. Fuck whichever alien-godlike-being let me do that. Nah, that’s a bit too far, but I mean it doesn’t really matter anymore. So I get up, and Mateo follows, and we end up looking at each other for just a few seconds trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

“You still wanna see your dad?” I ask after a second, shrugging as I look around before finally catching his eye. “Or are we going to be good and wait for visiting hours?”

“I think we have to. I don’t know if the Decker excuse will work twice, even if it isn’t actually our fault and we could still be Deckers—”

“Chill. What’s gonna happen if we show up, like actually? He can just look at the database or do whatever all those cool robots’ll be doing in future.”

“And then he’ll see we’re meant to be dead.”

“And?”

There are a few moments of hesitation, and I see this ghastly-ass look pass onto his face for a few seconds before he shrugs. “You’re right. He can’t exactly say anything.”

Satisfied, he ends up grabbing my hand, and honestly, I’m glad I’m as chill as I am because this is wild. Backtracking for a second, I grab my phone and toy with it for a second before shoving it into my pocket, not that I’ll actually need it now but perhaps the Pluto’s’ll be harassing me and I’ll have to answer. But we head out anyway, much to the confusion of his one pal from next door, who eyes us both with confusion for just a second too long before I keep walking - dragging Mateo behind me because fuck that.

We end up heading down the stairs far faster than last time. I don’t know what changed really, but we’re not scared anymore.

I mean, we are, but whatever. Baby steps, maybe an elevator or two when we’re not almost blown up wandering past a gym.

This time he gets himself out the lobby door and onto the pavement outside, and it’s raining. My fleece can do a little but it’s mad cold out here and I can tell nobody’s enjoying it anymore.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**M A T E O**  
1:07 a.m.

 

I’m pretty quick to set us towards the subway station. Not because I’m bothered by the rain and cold, though it’s really cold and I’d far rather retreat and potentially drop dead at home because I’m still not certain this is real. There’s a lingering feeling in the back of my mind even when we scan our passes, both of us are kind of surprised and honestly I’m not surprised. The man by the turnstiles looks at us for a few seconds before closing his eyes in confusion, and I try my best to ignore it, slipping into one of the empty carriages. There’s no party this time, which is nice, but Rufus holds my hand a little tighter when the doors begin to close and we fall into a seat.

It’s strange. I feel rather like a ghost around here like I’d done everything I had to and still hadn’t done enough. There’s no conversation between us either, but I’m trying to keep it together for his sake - if it’s anything like me he’s probably thinking about his family.

I wish the call to my mom had been wrong. Maybe then my dad wouldn’t be in the hospital, and our family would be complete, and I wouldn’t have had to wish on a teacup so I didn’t feel alone. Maybe I wouldn’t have been raised by a gravestone either, engraved with my birth date just to add insult to injury, but it was too late to change any of that so I took to staring out the window. Wondering if perhaps there was a different way this could have ended, whether the finality of death was something better than this, but bowing my head I knew there’d be no change.

I was clinging to straws. This wasn’t one of those lifetime shows, the further we stray from the strict ‘live, call, die’ that’s been ingrained into our heads the more I know will change. Whether my father will die today, and this’ll be my last memory of him, I can’t tell. But I know that Rufus seems to get it, and I hold out hope because if we can just start over and give ourselves a little time perhaps there’ll be a proper ending for us too.

Maybe I’ll get to introduce him to dad properly, instead of having to compromise like I almost did last night.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if perhaps that was my last chance to end it. Whether the comfort that came with being curled against him was what prevented the call from being true, or maybe we just weren’t destined to die in the first place. Whatever it was, I couldn’t find the energy to care.

We step out of the carriage eventually, taking extra care to avoid the gap so we don’t end up dying there. It’s probably just paranoia, but I couldn’t just push it aside so I kept going. Held his hand slightly tighter and knew that calling the others probably wasn’t the best way to go. I certainly couldn’t bring myself to wake Lidia, although knowing her she’d still be awake, so eventually I decide I’ll call her when we get done with my dad.

If we even get in.

I know there’ll probably be a few calls, and it hadn’t even hit me that my dad could be next.

“What do we do if he asks us what’s going on?” I asked absentmindedly, tugging at my sleeve. “He didn’t check the database last time.”

“We can always ask. They see that shit, don’t they?” Rufus asks, and I nod. “Exactly, they can probably look for you then. If not, you have the emails and stuff, right?”

“Yeah. But that can be faked-”

“You’re overthinking again. Just strut all up in there, we’re chill.”

“We’re anything but chill.”

There’s a laugh, despite everything I shake my head. We’re anything but chill, and I think we both know this, but I can push it aside as we head through the doors. Jared stands there looking at us for a few seconds in confusion, before speaking:

“Didn’t you come here yesterday?” He asks though the artificial smile returns to place pretty fast. “You said you were Deckers.”

“We are,” Rufus says, stepping in front of me for some reason even though I can deal with this myself. “Don’t know if we got lucky or something, but can’t you let us through?”

“Visiting hours ended at nine.”

“Nine to nine, heard you yesterday.”

“Then you can wait.” And, snapping a folder shut before him. “Only seven hours, I’m sure you can do that.”

“Check the database, Jared,” Rufus says, by now growing a little more heated even as I try to stop him. He has the best in mind, but it’s kind of scary, and I don’t want to get barred from the place. “Come on, you’ve been nice before, dude.”

There’s a sound of defeat, and once more he repeats the process. The sticker that was once in place on my chest is long gone, half of it is shredded and the other still damp from god knows what. But it’s covered pretty fast, and Rufus pats the corner into place smugly. I don’t know how I feel about him being all confrontational, but I guess being all outgoing takes time.

Time that I might actually have.

That’s a nice thought.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**R U F U S**  
1:48 a.m.

 

I’d say it was pretty nice of the guy to do us another solid, but then I remember it’s mostly because I started getting loud and he probably didn’t have enough coffee to even justify dealing with that. I can respect that, and props to him for putting up with me because I wouldn’t, then again nor would Aimee but I’m past that. She can go with her sack of shit boyfriend for all I care, I’m not a fussy person.

Mateo ends up inviting me into the room with him this time, which is nice. Takes the photo tucked on his dad's table and flips it over. There’s a pen leftover from god knows what that was there earlier, but I watch as he draws a line through some of the note. It’s still legible, and I don’t see what he replaces it with, but he seems to be smiling so I don’t care.

Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s drafting up some glorious plan to tell his dad he finally got some. I almost want to suggest he stick my Instagram on there, just in case we don’t make it, but instead I ask him to pass the pen and scrawl it on the back of my own drawing of the world. Might as well, it’ll give Lidia some comfort too I guess. Less guns and more laughter, perhaps Penny’d find it fun.

I’m almost upset I never got to meet Penny. I mean, it’d be pretty cool to meet a future president or something.

Eventually, Mateo says his goodbyes, and I’m urged out the room. It’s nice, he’s more chill than most I’ve met and the impression he had in a day was pretty neat. He certainly got me to settle down and chill, instead of chasing the next fight and probably getting myself shot, but I make a note to block Peck from my Instagram just for the hell of it. Maybe respond to a few messages, take a photo, because if there’s a time more deserving of colour I haven’t seen it yet. So I do just that, a smiling Mateo at my side who falls to my side with his glasses just a little lopsided. I end up captioning it with a simple #ILived just to keep it classy, and half expect the Pluto’s to pop up but there seems to be a delay in that.

Odd, but I’m not bothered. Perhaps the Pepsi and Coke fight got the better of them, and Malcolm finally got beat by someone despite his peace offering only yesterday.

I laugh at that. It’s a nice thought, even if the air is cold and I regret it pretty fast.

Mateo turns to look at me eventually, without the bike we have quite a way to walk and at night there’s a chance of someone bigger than me coming out of the dark and kicking my ass. Then again, the shot he took at Peck, I don’t doubt we’d probably be fine with a little compromise and shrug as we continue. There’s no real conversation going on, and I kinda dig the quiet, gives me a chance to reflect on what’s going on and stuff. But we keep going, no biggie, it’s kinda nice to have gone full circle. Fell in love a little here and there, and I mean we were both doing better than we were earlier, so I couldn’t really be upset. Especially after hearing him sing, his voice still lingers in the back of my head on replay like one of those really shitty songs you’d hear from outside a bar blasted like there was nothing else going on.

Oh, and you’d have the occasional fight it’d be a soundtrack to. Nothing funnier than watching a guy get smacked to some overhyped pop song from the mid-2000’s.

That wasn’t the point, so I keep walking just to catch up, even if I have height on him. Just a little, but it’s enough, and suddenly I’m not lagging behind. Still, the building comes into view, and I heard that her abuelita was with her so I can only imagine the conversation that comes. But we take the stairs again because we’re not scared at all, and we come to her floor. I hesitate for a second though, play it off as being cool, before shrugging and eventually speaking.

“You want me to come in, or just stand outside and pretend I’m cool?” I ask, and there’s a smile that passes onto his face as I continue. “I mean, I’m pretty good at doing that, so I don’t care much either way.”

“You should come in. If nothing else, at least I have a shield when she tries to kill me.”

And I oblige, because who am I to deny? There’s so much I want to get to know about Mateo, in the moment though, and as un-chill as that sounds it’s true. Maybe give it a proper chance to come around, I mean the feelings are already there, but it’d be nice to have all the history we imagined way back when. If we’re lucky, the concerts won’t be entirely fiction, and with a little luck, neither will a future.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**M A T E O**  
2:29 a.m.

 

I try to tell myself I’m alright when I knock on the door and hear a sound from inside. Knowing Lidia, she’s probably locked the door by now, but trying my luck I still try the handle to no avail. I’m surprised she’s even awake, then again with her abuelita around Penny probably hasn’t exhausted her as much as she could’ve. Rufus stands slightly behind me, I don’t know why, but perhaps he wants to avoid taking the first hit or something.

That’d be funny.

Still, I spot an exhausted Lidia before I know it, she’s hunched over and the bags under her eyes are atrocious but before I know it the door is back in my face again. Tugged back only a few seconds later, with tears brimming in her eyes she drags me down and into a hug and I end up releasing Rufus’ hand just to hold her closer. Apologise to her as I press my head into her shoulder, just so she knows it’s real, and the wail that escapes her lip is agonising.

It hurts to see her hurting, and I feel terrible that this never happened to Christian. I’m sure she feels it too, but I follow her in anyway, note the sleeping form of Penny on the couch and sigh. I can only hope that I get to see them both go places, even if it’s a little rude to go that far. Still, she doesn’t release me for quite a while, and I do much the same. It’s terrifying to imagine that we said our goodbyes, and only ended up here because of some messed up version of fate and a phone call that could have been wrong. But as to where we start with answers? I can’t tell, and it’s clear she can’t either, bumbling as she releases me.

“You’re alive.” She says eventually like it’s the only sentence in the world she can utter, and like there’s nothing less obvious in the world. Faster still, she continues. “It’s not Tuesday anymore. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I respond tiredly. “Neither of us do.”

“Have you called Death-Cast? Asked them what’s going on- Mateo.”

“I went to see my dad again.”

And she softens at that, wiping away the tears from her eyes with the loose sleeves of her shirt. I can only console her with tears in my own threatening to fall, but she understands, and they fall back into place. Penny doesn’t stir, yet I can’t see her caring for once until there’s finally the question I dreaded hearing.

“What are you going to do?” She asks, clarifying. “Both of you.”

“I want to see the Pluto’s again,” Rufus says. “I don’t know after that.”

“They’ll probably be looking for your bodies.”

“Then we can call them if we aren’t dead by morning.”

“Dead by morning?”

“We survived our death day. Who knows if we’re still Deckers,” I say.

“Even if you aren’t, you have to call. Tell them there was a mistake,” She begs, catching my hand. “At least ask them if that was your death day. I need to know if I have to say goodbye again.”

So I nod. Promise to humour her, even if I don’t know what good that’ll do for either of us. But it’s the most I can offer to her, and with the number still saved on my phone with some generic message in my email telling me where to send a message if there’s a problem I know it has to be done.

How I start a call with the people who told me I’d be dead by now is beyond me. Rufus seems to be in the same boat, and we both look at each other in confusion. It’s nice and mutual, and I hate the comfort it gives me, but eventually, my phone is plucked out of my hand and dying battery be damned she types out a hasty message before passing it back to me. Penny stirs once more at my side, and I’m surprised Lidia hasn’t taken her to bed yet, but perhaps it’s because her grandmother is around that she’s avoided it. I can’t blame her, and I feel terrible about forcing issues upon her and her family for a death day where I didn’t even die, but I guess it’s understandable. At least to an extent.

Now I have to wait for a response, one I may not even like.

 

September 6th, 2017  
**R U F U S**  
2:48 a.m.

 

I’d say I’m pretty confused about all of this. I mean, the whole not-dying thing was bad, but now I have to talk to people and figure out how I managed to avoid fate like that? It’s boring and feels like a waste of time, I don’t see why I can’t just sit here and chill, perhaps call my guys up and we can just talk. I wanna hear about Malcolm and Tagoe’s stint in jail, and the stupid stories that’ll come out of. But I also wanna talk to Aimee, just hear her out and figure out what happened.

Perhaps I can finally convince her to find someone better than that asshole, Peck, and she won’t end up dragged into much other stupid shit.

At this stage, I’m beyond wanting to keep going with that. I was pissed, obviously I was pissed because otherwise I wouldn’t have been after the guy when I got my call, but there are better things out there and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a pretty chill person next to me as it is. Who won’t have a ridiculous boyfriend who calls the cops on me at my own funeral, because that was an experience I don’t want to experience again.

Actually, if I’m completely honest, I could go a lifetime without having to go to my own funeral. That shit was creepy.

**Author's Note:**

> Yo so if you liked this you should totally follow me on twitter @tagoeaway and spam me with fanart because I cAN't find any but I need all of the stuff related to this book tbh  
> Thanks for reading and please bookmark/whatever if you found it even remotely good because god knows I'll be updating soon


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